Cookie Swirl C YouTube “Star”

My children discovered YouTube about 3 years ago and honestly, I have no idea how. I don’t know the genesis of how they saw the “YouTube” icon and thought, “Oh! There’s videos on this for me.” But, we have since downloaded the YouTube kids’ app because not all videos were in fact for kids. Go figure.

Yesterday, my daughter was watching “Cookie Swirl C [heheheheh]” and I wanted to claw my ears off 45 seconds in. I asked if I could watch some of the videos with her and honestly, I am amazed.

Why Cookie Swirl C is the worst:

  • She is like 30. Playing with Children’s toys. No children are ever featured in her videos. It’s odd.
  • Is she targeting a Children’s demographic because it’s easy cash? Popular YouTube stars get paid 6 f*king figures.
  • She squeals and sings, “Ooooo” or some other weird phrases in obviously, audibly-altered pitches.
  • She does not have anything education going on in these videos. Not saying that EVERY show has to be educational, but I feel my brain turning to mush after a few minutes.
  • Cookie Swirl C doesn’t show her face. Has she ever? I’m sure she did the face reveal, but I think if you’re going to play with toys on camera, at least own up to it.
  • She gets FAN mail. Like little kids are sending her “blind bags”…. Why?

There are a few videos that I think are really neat, like when she bakes a “Shopkin” cake or makes squishies out of sponges, but other than that, she’s just dancing Shopkins around the table, opening gifts from fans or from companies that give her free sh*t. What education is in that? I estimate that these YouTube stars are going to put actual children’s networks out of business and replace it with absolute moronic sh*t on YouTube.

But for those of us who work 12 hour days and are full-time students, it’s hard to watch some bored house wife sit and play with toys for an hour of her day earning $$$$$$$ per year? I work my butt off and I can’t afford everything she’s advertising to my kids. The little green-eyed monster is here to stay with me when it comes to ridiculous YouTube “stars”.

But hey, it’s America! As long as you have neon nails, a high pitched voice, expensive toys and an iphone, your dreams really can come true.

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